The Facebook Holdout

Okay, I admit it, I'm weak. I'm really, really, weak! I finally caved in and crossed over to the Facebook dark side. BWAAHH!!

For years, I have been an adamant holdout of the global Facebook frenzy. It seems like every person I know is on Facebook. Most of my family and friends are on it and have been asking me to get on it for years. Well, this past weekend, I finally caved in and signed up. Better late than never I guess. (or maybe not!) Time will tell.

I'm not sure why I have held out so long. Part of me REALLY values my privacy and the idea of putting yourself out there for others to see goes against my better judgement. I have heard so many stories about friendships destroyed, jobs lost, families broken up, etc. because of something that had been said or done on Facebook. The general idea of it makes me very wary.

On the other hand though, I can certainly recognize it's immense advantages. For example, since joining, I found an old friend of mine that I had not spoken to in 16 years. He had joined the military shortly after we graduated high school and we ended up loosing touch with each other. For many years, I have wondered about him and hoped he was okay but I had no way of knowing if this were the case. Well, thanks to Facebook, we reconnected and I learned that he is alive and well. We were able to visit for a bit and I discovered that he has a beautiful wife and two precious children. This was great to discover! He's a husband and dad now and seems to be enjoying life. I'm so happy for him!

While reconnecting with family and friends is a perk, the biggest reason I finally caved in and joined Facebook was because of my desire to reach out to others. You see, over the years, I have developed a passion for helping others. I suppose this passion stemmed from various hardships I have had in my life that have subsequently caused me to view life differently. They have made me value and cherish my life and the lives of others in ways I could have only imagined.

Here is a snapshot into the hardships my husband and I have endured.

In 1997, Terry and I lost our first son Tanner. Then in 1999, we were in the May 3rd tornado that tore through Oklahoma, resulting in our being homeless and living out of a motel room for awhile. Next, in 2002, our second son, Tyler was diagnosed with an aggressive form of Cancer called Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. After that, in 2008, my dad was diagnosed with a Cancer called Acinic Cell Carcinoma, and just this past year, Terry's dad, my father-in-law, was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Then, as if these things weren't enough, about a year ago, Terry and I discovered that our daughter, Serenity, has a pretty severe form of Dyslexia. This has made basic things like reading and math very hard for her. Every day is a struggle for her. I am currently homeschooling her in order to ensure that she receives the specialized one on one help and attention she needs. Despite these challenges though, she is extremely bright. In many ways, her gifts and talents far exceed my own. Every day she inspires me. We are very proud of her!

I'm not sure why Terry and I have had to face so many challenges in our lives together but I do know that they have changed us. They have played a major part in molding us into the people we are today.

It's because of these things that I have come to understand just how hard life can be and how desolate it can seem. This discovery has ignited a passion in me that makes me want to help alleviate pain in others. I want to help the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, offer love and compassion to the broken and offer kindness and acceptance to the outcast. My prayer is that God will somehow use me to make a difference in the lives of others.

One way that I hope to do that is through my new blog, "The Orderly Chaos." It is in its very early stages but I hope that someday it will be a place others can come to in order to get support and inspiration during their times of need. I hope that in some way, I can use my hardships and my survival through those hardships to be a witness to others. I pray that I can provide compassion and hope to those that are facing their own hardships. Whatever the case my be, may I always be willing to answer the call.

I am a Christian and I believe that as Christians, we are supposed to be living our lives in such a way that enables others to see and feel Christ's love. How can people really "know and feel" what God's love looks like and feels like without tangible evidence? How can they learn to trust in that love if they see no reason to believe in it? That's where we Christians come in. We are supposed to be Christ's hands and feet in this world. We are supposed to love others as Christ loves them so that they can see and feel His love for them through us.

This is what I want to be in this world. I want to love others in such a way that enables them to see and feel Christ's love through me. It is because of this that I finally joined Facebook. While I'm still wary of it, I do recognize it can be an amazing tool that can enable me to reach more people. I cannot hope to help people if I don't put myself out there. So, with trepidation, I am putting myself out there.

As I embark on this new journey, I pray that through me, Facebook will be used for good. I pray that it will open doors that might not otherwise be opened and as a result, I can reach people out there that might need help in the midst of their hardships. Whatever those hardships may be.

And so the journey begins....